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Raghavendra Rau

Raghavendra Rau

X-Lib-of-Cong-ISSN: 1098-7649
Forwarded-by: "Jack D. Doyle" [doylej@PEAK.ORG]
Forwarded-by: Peter Langston[]

Dear Doctor Science,
Why can't you divide by zero?

-- Kitty Evans, Des Moines, Iowa

I can and often do divide by zero, but only after I've made the necessary preparations. First of all, I fast for 48 hours, consuming during that time only mildly fluoridated water. Next I don my special teflon division-by-zero suit. Then I put on my digitally recorded compact disc of Gregorian chants and begin with dividing very small numbers by other very small numbers. As the numbers get smaller, the sparks begin to fly. If all goes well, I take a deep breath and divide a very small number by zero. There's a flash of light, a muffled roar, and when I regain consciousness, the lab is filled with smoke and the scent of burning mylar. So, you see, you can by divide by zero if you really want to. Chances just don't want to badly enough.